I go by the name of "Shaostyle" on the internet. I'm working my way up in the film life, and I decided to document my progress to share real life experience that you can not get in school. I'll post when major events happen to me, and I'll admit that writing is not my main strength.
Well its been a long fucking while since I wrote something here. So the biggest major change that has happened to me is that I got a new job. I got into another argument with my Dad and I finally quit the family business without feeling bad about it. So during two weeks after I quit my Dads business I focused on looking for film related work again. And again, I got no results from my search.
Now I know that searching for two weeks is not long enough but I searched for local studios to visit in person and nothing. I sent out hundreds of emails, and nothing. Having no savings I needed money so I went to work for a friend that started his hot rod business. Since the majority of my life has been about doing prep work, sanding, cleaning, masking, I offered to help him out and so far he is really happy with me.
I just read an article about Mike Rowe about not following your passions.
Reading this article really related to me. I’m already good at doing prep work so obviously I’m able to make money by doing just that with cars. With editing, and VFX, I know that people do like what I do, but their seems to be no money for me in that business.
I had one person, out of the hundreds of emails I sent, respond about my reel. They mentioned that they did like what I do but it was more important for them to have great cinematography with nice color correcting, and realistic VFX compositions, instead of my style of having a lot of post production color grading and cartoon like VFX. This pretty much answered the biggest question in my mind. PEOPLE DON’T WANT TO HIRE ME BECAUSE I DON’T CREATE THE STANDARD VISUAL STYLE OF CURRENT MOVIES.
Just about every movie made now is always pushing the envelope on creating the most realistic VFX possible. I personally don’t care for that and try to create something more fun and visually interesting. So obviously I’m no good to anyone that wants to compete with big budget movie productions.
So what now? Well…. shit! My whole dream of being able to work in a big production movie has little by little been kicked down the stairs and I realized that there is a real good chance that I might never achieve that. Do I feel bad about that… No! If anything it makes me want to work harder. Not because I want to achieve my dreams, but because just how I am good at doing prep work, I want to be good at editing. And its something that’s going to take time and practice.
I’m still going to make videos, I still have projects that I’m planning with my friends, and there is always the chance that something bigger might come up down the line. So just like the article with Mike Rowe says.
“Don’t Follow Your Passion, But Always Bring it With You.”
Thanks for reading a peace.
August 25, 2014
So one thing I don’t like about myself is that I can’t settle for a long term goal. Recently I tried to set a mind set of aiming for a very big project and work on nothing but test videos for my channel. Please note that I no longer give a fuck about my channel in the sense of making it successful. So I made the plan of working on nothing but test videos to practice on a major sci-fi video that I want to see happen. But my fucking past experiences keep messing with my mind and I feel that I’ll just be wasting my time.
Reason #1 Most people will flake on you if no money is involved. I had this happen more than once to know that people don’t really care how passionate you are about something and will just say fuck it “something else turned up”. Also life happens and I had an actor cancel because a family member died but I already had everyone else ready to go so I had to fill in his role.
Reason #2 No guarantees of getting views! I’m still fucking confused about this. Part of me understands the internet is a SEARCH tool. Meaning that people search for answers in the internet. Which is why gaming channels are popular in YouTube. Kids search for something related to a video game and whatever video that is, gets a lot of views. Also, any topic that is popular at the moment, obviously gets searched and whatever video that was made for, that topic gets viewed. This is where I fail in the internet. I honestly hate having popular topics influence my content, just because I want to get views. That shit to me is very fucking lame but it obviously works for other channels.
Reason #3 Too much fucking time. If something takes too long, people that are helping you out lose interest if your not paying them. Filming something great takes time. Either to get the angle right, the right lighting, getting the action right, getting the best possible shot takes time. But if your planning something big, people can lose interest in your work quickly if you don’t get shit done quick.
Final reason! Hating yourself for putting yourself under a lot of stress. Putting something together can be very stressful. ESPECIALLY when your hard work gets little to no response. I try not let the past influence me but shit… I worked on a video for 2 fucking months straight and it only got 150 views since I uploaded that video over a year ago.
That’s probably the main killer for me. Getting no feedback, not even from my actual family and friends. I keep trying to push myself to make better videos but I just cant fucking do it. Its demoralizing when you feel like your not making any progress. From my point of view, I can see that my skills have improved, but I have no idea if the viewer likes what I do. So this just keeps making me go back to old habits. I like making videos but I have a hard time finding that drive to put that extra effort.
So what to take from this post? Do whatever makes you happy!!!
Obviously what I’m doing is not making me happy. So why should I continue this path even though I know its something that can help me improve. I can have fun making the type of videos that are quick and basic, but than I get no experience to try things that push my limits. Its a fucking difficult balancing act. You want to do the best you can but since its not being acknowledge it becomes discouraging.
Sorry for cursing a lot but I’m pretty annoyed with myself. I want to do more but I have no personal drive to push myself more if its just going to end up in disappointment. One thing I will say is that all my past videos have been a major collective pool of experience. No matter how simple and basic the video was, it was still fun and certain challenges came with making that video that has made me better little by little. I guess that’s my problem at this moment. I want to become a professional by taking the fun out of what I been doing. All my past videos have been fun and my recent videos have been more oriented towards getting views. It sucks but that’s what happens when you try to make money with your art. You lose the fun aspect of it and than it becomes business that disappoints if you don’t get the numbers that your hoping for.
I know now that I just got to go back on having fun. Thanks for reading and peace!
July 9, 2014
So like after 28 times of saying how I want to get away from YouTube in the past, I finally made the mental seal of “YouTube career death” in my mind. Frankly, your in a sea of shit and to find something good to eat in it is so fucking hard and discouraging that only if a well know channel shares my work can it be found but I don’t see any big channels giving themselves competition and sending their viewers away.
Now I said also in the past that I don’t feel I deserve anything but being on the internet you assume ANYONE will eventually run across your work and let you know if it sucks or not. Well something else happened besides getting pissed on YouTube. In one way or another you do become aware of the type of humor/content that gets the most attention on YouTube. There is a large young crowd in the YouTube world and most of the shit that seems to get the most attention are video games, violence, and rape related jokes. Honestly I don’t mind these things, shit, I enjoy watching these type of videos. However, this humor is something I feel can only be viewed in short amounts of time, in a short fun video.
Since that is what gets more attention then my videos, I eventually found myself influenced by this and started making retarded shit on my channel. I caught myself doing this after my last 2 videos and realized that this is not what I want to do. So that’s when I finally decided to throw the towel and tell YouTube to go fuck itself.
I’m just gonna use YouTube to upload test videos and browse my subscriptions but I want to explore more professional content on Vimeo and be influenced by that. So far I found a cool video that gave me the idea to try it out my self.
You can find the tutorial to make this here.
So what to take from this post. It seems pretty obvious that chasing views and recognition for yourself can make you do dumb shit that you never thought about. Also, on a page like YouTube, gaming commentaries are pretty big, and just about every fucking major YouTube channel has branched out to a gaming channel. So you can see how trends affects the traffic on websites. This is why I decided to focus more on Vimeo. The environment is more professional, IMHO, and I want that to influence my work. So just like your friends influence you, video sharing sites influence your videos.
Thanks for reading and peace!
June 23, 2014
So I meant to write earlier but I’m glad I didn’t. Recently I watched a documentary about VFX house “Rhythm & Hue’s” the company that went bankrupt after doing the VFX for “Life of Pie”.
Than shortly after that, I helped my friend edit a wedding video. The reason both these are related is because something I learned from both is very similar. In the documentary, one of the ex employees mentioned how they would work over time and past the deadline to polish the VFX to their liking. Even though they were past their budget, they would continue working for long hours to get it looking good.
My friend and I didn’t necessarily spend a ridiculous amount of time on the wedding video. However, towards the end of the video my friend decided to add a little bit of his style by adding electronic dance music during the final celebration of the day, when everyone was drunk and dancing. It sounded good but it took a while to match the editing to the beat of the music. So after we finished with the edit and color grading, my friend handed over the video and they loved it, except for the music in the end.
This sucks and is funny at the same. At first I suggested something more conservative since most likely this video was going to be shared. So something more universally liked would of been a good idea instead of a style of music that clubbers mainly enjoy. So now my buddy has to re-edit this thing with new music and it delays the time for us to get payed for it.
What I’m trying to point out here is that when working on a project for other people, its best not to get too attached and start personalizing something that is not completely yours. I made that mistake a long time ago and I just spent more of my time on something that I never finished because I was not getting payed. So when working on a project for someone else, be sure that everything that the customer wants is in writing and don’t accept any changes unless they pay extra. And none of the “do this instead of this” type of shit. Whatever was agreed on to begin with is what you are going to do.
It’s easy for the “artist” inside of you to start wanting to add a little here and there to please your own liking, but those little adjustments can be things the costumer would not like and have you remove them. So now your ego and time has been dented and your pay stays the same. So simply put, know what your customer likes and wants, and stay with those guidelines. If you can get by with doing less than good for you. Remember, you’ll get more work by recommendations if you focus on making the customer happy by giving them what they want. Instead of spending unnecessary large amounts of time making something that you like but the costumer doesn’t which only frustrates the both of you.
Thanks for reading and laters.
June 8, 2014
So I got rid of a bunch of accounts I didn’t need. I closed 2 YouTube accounts, my Dailymotion account is cleaned out of videos ( I’m keeping that in hopes of YouTube dying ). I couldn’t delete my facebook page so I just unpublished it so nobody but me can see it, and I removed any links from one page directing you to another.
Now its common practice to be promoting every channel you got but honestly all that is a real waste of content making time. I’m sure you here it all the time on how very popular celebrities have social media accounts that they don’t manage themselves because in one way or another they do take away your time.
I tried promoting my channel in every way I could and trust me its not worth your time. My advice now would be to simply focus on what you like to do and don’t worry about how to get people to view it. When I started my Facebook page I spammed that shit to everyone in my friend list. So them being supportive or whatever did like my page but when I made a post I barely got any type of response from them. And when shit like that starts to happen is when you start getting frustrated and that’s what you got to avoid, getting frustrated.
Not everyone is going to like what you do or how you do it. One thing I did learn is that people do share similar interest and you just got to provide your work in an area where people with similar interest can find you. After I decided to say “fuck it” and started making content that I find funny, I made a picture of a shit monster coming out of the toilet.
I didn’t think much about it, I just had fun with it not wondering if its something people will like. I finished that thing around 11 at night and than posted it on my deviantART account. Immediately I got a few quick comments on how much they like my work. So obviously that makes me feel good, but what makes it better is that I didn’t have to shove my work in people faces just to get no feedback.
So my final verdict on this post. Don’t waste time trying to get people to watch your shit, its really a waste of time and a mood killer because your most likely trying to show your work to people that don’t really care for it. People know what they like and will go out of their way to find it or through law of attraction they’ll find your work. You just got to be yourself in your work and have fun with it. With my shit monster picture I was just having fun with it and other people where able to have fun with it also. And that picture got more attention than any other picture I have posted before that.
So yeah, be your self, have fun, provide the type of content that you would like to see and I’m very sure like minded people will find you. Thanks for reading and peace!
June 5, 2014
So I’m getting back to the rhythm of making videos. I want to go back to making one video a week. However, this time I’m just focusing on making short videos that I think are funny with little to no VFX. I can no longer sit in front of my computer screen working on a video more than a week because honestly my videos can not seem to reach any new audience.
When I started making YouTube videos I fallowed all types of advice to get your channel noticed and it just led to a giant cluster fuck of head aches. I opened up many accounts to share my videos, I spam like a dumb ass, opened up 3 YouTube accounts, did the facebook thing. Just about any advice you can find on the internet I have tried and still my channel is pretty fucking dead.
I’m kind of sad to say that I gave up on searching for a career in film. It’s a very saturated environment with people that sacrifice way too much for the smallest chance to get their foot on any film related job and that’s something I can’t do. You got to put in a lot of time in something that really has no guarantee of going anywhere.
So I’m stripping myself down to the bare minimum. I’m closing accounts that I don’t need, I’m even thinking about closing my Facebook page. Most of the people fallowing my page are my friends anyways. Now Facebook is asking you pay to have people see you on there feed more often. Its a big whatever for me right now. I like making videos and I’m just gonna leave it as that. I don’t need to focus on other shit because it has all proven to be a major distraction for me.
Its very time consuming when you want to upload your videos in multiple accounts. Its very distracting when your sitting around wondering if anyone has commented on one of your videos. Its very fucking annoying when you sit around thinking of whats the best title and thumbnail picture to get people to click on your video. I’m just very dead when it comes to doing all that. I just want to make videos and that’s it. Unfortunately I got lost in trying to make money because I was in a very bad spot financially when I started making videos.
So when I’m done making this post I’m gonna go through all my accounts and delete the ones I don’t need. I’ll just keep YouTube because google has a fucking monopoly in video sharing that I got no choice but stay so whatever.
This is just part of my path, I don’t know how things will change for me more down the road but for the mean time, I just don’t give a fuck anymore and want to focus on making videos.
Thanks for reading and peace!
May 1, 2014
So one thing I like about tumblr is being able to write about my goal of being a filmmaker. It really helps putting things into perspective when I write out my thoughts during certain situations in my life that affect my progress in film. At this fucking moment I’m not feeling like creating anything. I cant really put my finger on it but I just cant find the drive to make anything.
I went for a year straight making videos almost every week, and after my last group project, “After Death” finished around June 2013, I got extremely lazy and have been lagging ever since. I tried sparking up my interest by learning new software, C4D, but I’m still not feeling the same.
I’ll admit that the discouragement I received from my group project, and another project that were made for film festivals have pissed me off really badly. My group project didn’t get accepted for a film festival and just died after that. The one horror short I edited for my friend went to a festival but only played in an empty theater. These situations really sucked and puts me in situation of “WTF!” mind set and it does make me question why the fuck am I doing this if it just leads to disappointment.
Both of these project had its challenges while editing, and my last major group project really pushed my stress levels while I worked on that thing for 2 months straight. I wasn’t really working during that time so I spent complete days editing that fucking thing with its constant VFX bullshit that was more than originally planned.
So after sitting on my ass putting these shits together for as long as I did, then seeing them just rot away like a can of soup that you forgot about in the pantry really pisses me off. I guess what I’m feeling is that I’m not really proud of my work. With just about every video that I have made, they have always been made with the intention to learn something new. Either to gain experience or to try out a new VFX idea that I found on YouTube, I cant really say that I’m completely proud of my work regardless if they get views or not.
Also, when I was making these videos, I was hoping one of them would be the one to start getting traffic into my channel by becoming somewhat viral, so that’s another way I set myself up for failure. Yeah I’m taking full responsibility for my mindset. Granted that I’m not finding a cure for world hunger so I shouldn’t beat myself up over videos. But like many ambitious artist, I thought as long as I work hard by making the best content that I could than eventually the hard work will pay off. Well its obvious that I’m wrong and I feel its because I was walking down the wrong path with my misguided mindset. I been worrying too much about the outcome of my work instead of worrying about making art that I like.
Lately I been finding a lot of great work on deviantART and I want to be able to convert that still art creativity into videos. Not exactly sure how to do that but I really love what I find there. I don’t know when I’ll get my drive back but I have been letting go of some projects and I was considering letting go of this commercial project that I got offered for a cat clinic. I honestly don’t want to fall into making shit that I don’t like. I started creating videos because I wanted to share a vision and have artistic freedom. Unfortunately I think I drifted away from that while searching for the “Internet fame”. So now I got to take a new path with a different artistic mind set. This current road is not working for me, maybe I just have to create a new path that nobody has made yet.
Thanks for reading and peace!
March 30, 2014
So a co-workers of my sister asked me if I could help him make a video for a song about his mother that passed away. Its a very heart felt song about how regretful he feels for making his mom go through a lot of hard times when he was young. Its a good song, I told him that I would be happy to “help” him out but I told him upfront that this project may cost him up to 1or 2 thousand bucks. It was way more than he expected to pay so we canceled any plans for the video.
As great as it would of been to create a music video for a great song, I reached a point that I can no longer “help” someone make a video. I’m pretty busy with helping close friends, as well as working on my own projects. Another factor I had to think about was how can this project help advance my path as a film maker. It would be great to see myself start directing music videos, but if that was to happen I need to set the stamp on my head that I’m worth something to be payed, not just someone that you can ask a favor for.
Recently I been helping my close friend I met in college. He is going to a university so I help him out whenever he asks me too. First of all I’m helping out a friend, its fun filming with people you are familiar with, and also making new friends is always a plus. I’ll also admit that part of me knows that I can trust my friend to call me when he knows of a payed gig. So far he has recommended me to a couple of payed jobs, and if any other payed projects comes around, I trust he’ll have me in mind and vice versa.
So about this music video project. I honestly can not say what the results would have been, but if say this individual was more of a well known friend of mine who networks with other people in the entertainment circle. Than most likely I would have helped him out for little to no pay. It may seem selfish and cold but after helping out so many people on the very first projects I set foot on, I learned very quickly that not everything will lead you to a better tomorrow. Just headaches, time being invested in areas that don’t show fruit and people that don’t know what they are doing that make you look bad.
So again, am I a dick for not being more reasonable to help a small artist? I don’t believe so. As you grow as an artist you develop standards that are hard to step back from. In my case, I know the importance of having the right equipment as well as having the right team. I also know how long post work will take me, and since I’m working for some ones approval, I have to be working according to the musicians liking which can add more time to the already lengthy editing of the music video. These things take a lot of time, its also a bit costly because I have to rent the right equipment. If I was to make this video for him, I’ll definitely push myself to make this video the best quality I can as a promotional video of myself as a film maker.
But in the end, this talented musician appeared to be more of a hobbyist and loved the idea of making a music video. Unfortunately, I have to take careful steps that helps me advance in my film career, and in regards to this project, I honestly didn’t want to create a half ass attempt for a music video, and I didn’t want to donate too much of my time because I don’t really know him as well as seeing potential for more payed projects.
So be sure to value your time, and value your circle of film friends, because in real life, they are the ones who will help you get a job.
Thanks for reading and peace.
(UPDATE: I enabled comments and ratings because I felt like an asshole disabling them. The main thing I changed now is I removed all notifications from my YouTube channel because I still feel as described below.)
So it happened! I finally gave up on YouTube. Its really a shame but for anyone that has been a fan of YouTube since 2007 has seen the dramatic shit storm that it has become since google bought it. I’m still going to upload my videos there simply because its easier to share my videos through YouTube, however, I no longer care about the viewer response because honestly, I don’t believe anyone is able to see it because google favors the bigger channels that are already established and family friendly.
Also, the huge influx of people when they allowed monetization for anyone has created a fucked up environment for content creators. Stupid failures with no life get a kick on just fucking with big channels just for the hell of it. It honestly feels like high school drama when a pack of kids start ganging up on a channel and start talking shit. I also believe that fuck heads would only make hateful videos of big channels just to draw attention with their controversy.
Thankfully I didn’t experience any of that. If anything 90% of my few comments have been positive. My main reason for disabling comments and ratings is because it was a major blow to my drive to make videos. Its not because I’m an attention whore, I simply want to improve as a content creator, and the only way I felt I could do that is by seeing what people like about my videos. Since not a lot of people have been leaving comments, I’ll get frustrated because I don’t know if I’m on the right track on making good videos. On a side note, people tend to leave their feedback when they don’t like something, so no feedback could equal its not bad, but still.
So despite me not getting any hateful comments, it became very distracting for me sitting around and wondering, “how can I get people to comment?”, “how can I get people to click like?”, “how can I…..” fucking etc, etc, etc. I hated the fact that I wasn’t getting any type of engagement from the viewers. It became a constant wondering of how to make better videos and shit, but in the end, I honestly feel that YouTube is dying.
Its rare for me to find new content that I like, and its difficult for me not to have big channels always “requested” to me when I try to search for something new. Honestly, I truly believe google only cares about the big channels to get the most views because they simply generate more ad revenue than the smaller channel such as mine.
So what now? Well I truly don’t give a fuck about YouTube anymore. For the most part, I follow channels I like through face book and that’s how I end up seeing their videos most of the time. I stopped caring about reaching out to the most people I can. I stopped caring about what type of content gets the most views, and most of all, I simply just stop caring.
Its very fucked up that a great video sharing site changed so much into a wannabe TV station. So I’m going to continue making videos, and maybe now that I completely don’t give a fuck about the results of my videos, I’ll be more happier and focused on doing what I want.
Thanks for reading and peace!
March 14, 2014
So the day before I made this post, I helped my buddy out for his film class project. He invited a fun group of classmates to help out, and after we finished filming they started to basically talk shit on their class teacher. From what I heard, this teacher had a “forbidden” list, meaning he had a list of the things his students are not allowed film, story concepts, words and story situations that he doesn’t want to see in his students film projects.
So hearing them talk about how retarded it was for their class teacher to ban scenes of someone waking up and yelling the word “no”, I started to thank my self for deciding not to continue my film studies at a university. This teacher they spoke about also stated that uploading their video to YouTube is a waste of time. If you spent enough time on YouTube than you should know for a fact that the internet has been a jumping board for many film makers.
So my opinion that I’m trying to make here is that just because someone is a teacher, it don’t mean that they know what they are talking about. I had a teacher that had this look on his face that screamed, “I fucked up my chances so all I got left is to teach”. Now don’t get me wrong, I had some great teachers but I feel for the most part they just teach you the standard to follow orders in a set. And if your more like me, than I think that’s all a waste of time because I want to learn how to use the right tools to create the films I want to make. Also, whatever “rules” and “language” that is used in the industry is always learned by being involved with other film groups.
Anyways, don’t just wait to be in a class to create a film. Technology is so advance that you can make your own video with basically nothing. Also, as long as the content is great, people on the internet are very forgiving of the production quality as long as the delivery is done right. So always keep making something new, don’t think that some school project will change your life. But always try to challenge yourself so each new project will make you a better, and more experienced film maker.
Thanks for reading and peace.
Ok so first of all I have no “YouTube success”. I’m just posting my thoughts from a video about dealing with an internet audience from YouTube channel “boogie2988”.
Heres the video.
So assuming that you just watched the video. When I started making content on a weekly schedule to gain an audience, my main goal was to improve as a content creator by receiving feedback and accepting critiques. I’ll also admit that I was searching for the ad sense revenue. Not because I thought it was easy money, but because I love the process of making videos and being able to support myself by ad revenue sounded like a great idea.
Well google fucked everything up by allowing ANYONE with an account to monetize there videos. So this resulted in a gold rush that saturated the community with competitive channels, especially gaming channels, and also I feel that a sense of hate and envy started building up because only the well established channels gets to be in the search results not the new, starting channels. I’ll be honest and admit that I hate the fact a “Popular” list is added on my YouTube homepage. If you disable that than you get a message saying “by disabling this you wont be recommended on other channels” or something like that. At this point it makes little to no difference for me, so I disabled that list from my homepage. I’ll also admit that I hate the fact that when you visit a channel that has a million subscribers only promote other channels that already have a million subscribers and those channels do the same shit. Its pretty annoying seeing the top channels only promote each other, and never a smaller channel that I’m sure they like.
So yeah, the sense of competition to get to the top, and to stay at the top has created a bad environment. My goals are still the same though. I want to become a better film maker and use the internet to help get my ideas off the ground. Two examples of this are
"Hobo with a shotgun" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1LlazPgxKrA
"Kung Fury" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72RqpItxd8M
I’ll also add Robert Rodriguez’s “Machete” to the list. These movies started out a just trailers. And thanks to the internet, enough attention was build up that they became movies. So maybe the Internet fame is not for everyone, but the internet is definitely powerful to help get your ideas up and going.
Thanks for reading and peace.
Visit my YT channel https://www.youtube.com/user/shaostyle
January 11, 2014
So first of all Happy New Year! So in a past post I mentioned how excited I was to learn that one of my first shorts that I helped edit together named “Phobia” got accepted to a Horror film festival.
Obviously me and the rest of the people that were involved got excited about it and I couldn’t wait to see something that I worked on in a room full of people. So this film event just happened yesterday from this post and this is how I feel about film festivals and what happened at this specific film event.
OK so being I’m trying to be very objective as possible here. Its easy to get your passions all mixed into an event were something that you worked hard on gets elected to be screened but I’ll try to explain things with out sounding like a whiny bitch. Also keep in mind that I’m explaining this as a film maker that is trying to expand his film opportunities. If I was there just to hang out and watched fucked up shit, than this would of been fun, but as someone trying to network this event pretty much sucked and I’ll explain why.
So to be completely honest I feel that film festivals are a rip off. Now I haven’t been to a major film festival but so far I worked on 3 individual projects aimed to be submitted to a film festival and so far they have all be a disappointment. The first one was a 2 day film competition. I spent an entire night drinking energy drinks to finish a short video to submit in person the next day. We finished on time and after spending all that time and destroying my health with neon green fluids, the video was not accepted for whatever reason.
Here is the video I’m referring to https://vimeo.com/47060242
The second was something me and my friends put together and even raised money for named “AfterDeath”. I spent 2 months straight doing all the editing and VFX stuff and unfortunately this video also did not get accepted.
Finally, the horror short that did get accepted, “Phobia”, was showed at 3 in the fucking morning and more than half of theater has already left! So what happened at this film festival. Well this is what I was hoping to happen. I’ll show up, get a name tag with what my film specialty is, editing, and being able to meet other film makers along with handing out my business cards.
So what really happened at this film festival. Well everything was pretty unorganized. Everyone kept to their groups without trying to introduce themselves to other people. The only person I talked to who I didn’t know was the signer of the band providing the live music. She was really cool and friendly. Her name is Sara Mayhem she plays industrial style music.
You can check her out here. https://www.facebook.com/saramayhemMusic
The showing was in one of the theater rooms of the Raleigh Studios. This theater was less than half the size of a regular movie theater. The film event started at 11 pm. The host introduced himself and talked for a bit than after all that the videos began. When the movies started playing the theater we pretty full. In between the short videos, 1 feature length film was shown. Now I don’t want to go into reviewing the main feature but what really got me disappointed was that the majority of the people there left after they showed the feature film. And that really fucking sucked because the short I worked on was showed last after everyone left. Also, I don’t understand why they didn’t plan to show the feature length movie last!
So yeah, my hopes to watch something I worked on in a room full of people went down to shit at that moment. Literally it was me and my girlfriend with the director and his family with a few friends that stayed to watch the video with a few other people not involved with our group. Now I’ll admit there is some comedy to that but I cant really explain how annoyed I was to see more than half the theater leave right before our short was about to be showed.
So my final opinion about film festivals. As I mentioned I feel that they are mainly a rip off and here is why. Lets say I start a raffle for a $50 gift card, and to be part of the raffle you give me $5 for a ticket. Obviously it sounds good to have a chance to win $50 with only $5. So now lets say that I was able to get 100 people to buy tickets from me for only $5. So after I collect all the money, I made $500 by only giving out a $50 gift card and I’m left with a $450 profit by just starting a raffle.
I honestly feel its the same shit with these film festivals. Because so far each of these festivals that I helped submit a video for have entree fee’s. Depending on the film festival the fee’s can be from $20 and up. When my film group submitted our “AfterDeath” video to the Irvine film festival, our submission fee was $30. And these guys get thousands of submissions that they screen through and only pick a few that they feel meet certain criteria. So as a film maker I don’t like the idea of them but if I was a film fan then they can be fun.
With the feature length movie of the night, before everyone left, they had a Q & A with the cast of the movie and it turns out that they had a fan base supporting them. The movie was called “Truth or Dare” by Jessica Cameron.
and they mentioned that they had a indiegogo account to help raise money for their film. Now this film is very gruesome and not something I’ll expect to see in theaters everywhere so if your a fan of these type of movies, and you fallow these film creators, then this film event is great to see this type of movie on the big screen. I guess the majority of the audience was mainly there to watch this movie. Because the moment the Q & A was over, more than half the theater got up and left. Also, they made it seem like the film event was over so there may have been some confusion.
So what to take from this extremely long post, well I still believe gaining a following is the best thing to do if your an artist. Because if you visit the directors IMDB page of “Truth or Dare” she has a good amount of movies that she acted in, so I can only assume that she already has a pretty good fan base supporting her. So even though it did suck seeing everyone leave just before our video was about to play, I can only say that the internet now a days is your best friend. Being able to create a community around your work or having your work in a community is a big support. But showing your work to a room full of people that don’t know you can be a waste of time and resources. Because even though there were some short videos that I did like, I still haven’t gone out of my way to find out more about the creator of those videos, and I doubt I will.
So thanks for reading if you made it this long, and keep making stuff, peace!
January 2, 2013
I been a lazy shit all through out December and I’m slowly working back to my schedule of making stuff. So this year I decided to try out something new. I made a quick VFX with C4D about 2 years ago, and it was a short clip of my girlfriend being frozen than shattering into little pieces. The render time for that C4D clip took 2 fucking days and it discourage me from messing around with 3D software after that. I thought I’ll just focus on After Effects and find someone else to do the 3D stuff for me. Well that proved to be a bad plan.
I guess it all depends on what direction you want to take your videos/films but knowing how to work with more than just one software will catch up to eventually. There is plenty of videos on YouTube with 3D models on a green background to use but when you want something specific, you have to work what you can find. Also, the quality may not match with your project so it kind goes against with what your are working on.
So as a new year goal of mine, I decided to start working with C4D again and mainly start focusing on background design, set extensions, matte painting and anything else that involves in creating a good background. I’m pretty comfortable with After Effects now. Lately all I been doing is messing around with color grading settings. I know my way around After Effects now that I can figure stuff out on my own with out spending too much time on research. However, learning C4D is like starting at zero again.
Oh well, no matter how much you think you know, there will always be something else that you got to learn if you don’t want to have any restrictions with your work.
Thanks for reading and peace.
So for starters I want to confess that I decided not pursue the “career” of film making anymore. Now that doesn’t mean I’m no longer interested in film making, what I’m saying is that I’m over with the “chase” of a film career. One thing a mainly noticed when working with “certain” film makers is this stupid EGO they have as if they are ending world hunger with their presence on set. They boost more about the kind of equipment they have rather than what they are able to do with it, and its something that annoys the fuck out of me. Also, giving someone I don’t know 12 hours of my day only for pizza really sucks balls, especially when I don’t see/speak to the movie director again after that.
Now don’t get me wrong, I met some great people, had a lot of fun on set, AND IF MY FRIENDS WANT TO GET TOGETHER AND MAKE SOMETHING I WILL! But overall my main goal is simply CREATING content that I can share with people. And recently I realized that I been focusing more of my time and energy trying to get my hands on a job rather than spending that time and energy on my OWN work.
When I was looking for film work within Orange County, I got two interviews. Both of them said something identical that I will never forget. Both of them said that they get annoyed with the daily calls and emails from recent college graduates looking for work when they already have enough help. The only reason why they called me back is because they liked what I did with my film reel that I sent them and they they didn’t gave a fuck about my resume. So that along with the other little bullshit that I been through makes me realize that I just need to focus on my “art”.
So whatever, I love film making and I’m just gonna focus on getting better at it. I figure somewhere down the line someone will notice my skills and than maybe would like to hire me because of it, not because I can wrap a cable, follow orders and accept pizza as pay! FUCK THAT! To my other film making buddies, do whatever you feel you got to do.